HUMOUR

A selection of interesting and humourous items. These items were contributed by Deaths Face, me, the Outsider and Wargamer.

30 FUN THINGS TO DO:

1. (Farseers only:) Challenge someone to a game of chess. Sit down, stare at the board for 10 minutes, then cry "Checkmate!"

2. Ask if anyone in the local Guard army plays Warhammer 3K.

3. Attempt to out-run a Hormagaunt

4. Attempt to pull wheelies in the Predator.

5. Attempt to summon Daemonettes at that orgy your going to

6. Call Logan Grimnar 'wolf boy'

7. Challenge the Servitor to a game of Warhammer fantasy.

8. Dress in a robe to impersonate a Farser/Warlocks or Dark Angels

9. Give a Death Company Marine caffeine

10. Keep a Daemonette as a pet (amongst other things)

11. Keep a Tyranid as a pet.

12. Make cat sounds when two Sisters of Battle argue

13. Play 'Hide and Seek' with a Farseer

14. Play chicken with a Khorne Rhino with destroyer upgrade.

15. Play croquet with a Thunder Hammer.

16. Play fetch with frag grenades and Tyranids

17. Play tag with a Powerfist.

18. Plug a Techmarine into the ships main power.

19. Put on some Power armour and use Imperial Guard lasguns to play "laser quest"

20. Rape an Emperor's Children Chaos Space Marine.

21. Refer to the Machine Spirit in Land Raiders as 'Cruise Control' in front of a Tech-Marine

22. Repaint your Dark Angels Rhino red to make it go faster

23. Replace an Imperial Guard's comm-link with a plasma grenade for fun

24. Shoot tin cans from a mile away with a Ranger long rifle.

25. Sue the Black Legion for racism.

26. Suggest that the Guard army charge the enemy.

27. Switch the Khorne army's supply of coffee to decaf.

28. Throw soap at Nurglings

29. Urinate against a Necron Immortal leg and watch him fall

30. Use an Universal remote control against Necrons

This item is a play based around four Aspiring Champions, one a Thousand Son, a Khorne Berserker, a Plague Marine and Noise Marine.

34 THINGS TO GET YOU KILLED:

1. Ask a space wolf is he regular smells he squads members butt (well they are based around dogs arn't they?)

2. Ask the Grandmaster/Inquisitor if you can take the Land Raider to pick up your date, a Daemonette

3. Attack an Chaos Dreadnought with a tin-opener

4. Attempt to get yourself possessed by a Greater Daemon..

5. Attempt to negotiate with Abaddon the Despoiler.

6. Attempt to outshoot a Tau Commander with a bolt pistol

7. Be a Guardsmen

8 .Bet a Wraithlord that he cannot crush your head with a single fist

9. Challenge a Bloodthirster to a fist-fight

10. Comment on the dusty nature of a Thousand Sons existance.

11. Declare " I will eat your Soul" in a daemonic/insane voice amongst any craftworld

12. Distribute "The Emperor is dead at long last" leaflets through the Imperium..

13. Donate blood using a needle used by a Death Guard.

14. Fart in front of a burna squad (your bound to go up in flames)

15. Get a Farseer mad!

16. Go into battle riding a grot carrying no weapons.

17. Hang around with Kharne the Betrayer.

18. Make "Skeletor" jokes about the Necrons

19. Make fun of Jain Zar's age and/or mask

20. Play Russian roulette with a assault cannon

21. Put a piece of steak on your back and run away from Fenrisan Wolves

22. Put on a t-shirt with a target sign in front of either TAU FARSIGHT or IMPERIAL GUARD ARMOURED COMPANY

23. Read an Inquisitor's book out loud.

24. Replace the ale in all the kegs with pee shortly before a Space Wolves banquet.

25. Say 'im arda den u!' to the Warboss of an Ork clan

26. Say to a Deathwing Terminator that you know why Caliban was destroyed.

27. Shout 'Blood for the Blood God' in front of the Inquisitor

28. Shout 'Run, they have bigger guns then we do' in front of a Commisar

29. Slap a Khorne Bezerker in the face with a gauntlet and scream " I CHALLENGE YOU TO A DUEL!" with a french accent

30. Steal a Farseers Singing Spear

31. Steal a Farseers Spirit Stone (or any spirit stone for that mattter)

32. Take anything a Dark Eldar Lord gives you

33. Walk into the Imperial Palace with a bolter and threaten to kill the Emperor.

34. Wear fake power armour and a robe then say to a Dark Angel Chaplain that you are one of the "Fallen"

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